The last time this happened was some time this winter.
You ever have one of those weeks when you get 7 full nights of uninterrupted sleep, where every outfit you put on you slay, where all your tones in Chinese are on point, when you’re killing your #gymgoals, where you crush your step challenge competitors, and when you get asked out every day AND confused for looking 5 years younger than your age multiple times?
Yeah, me neither (just ask my trainer what happened when he tried to get me to do single leg squats).
I didn’t win my step challenge; I easily would have, if I had a Fit Bit, thanks to those ten miles I walked on Tuesday. I also did not get 7 full nights of uninterrupted sleep, though I have slept better. It’d be a stretch to say I’m killing it in the gym, though I have lost a few pounds.
I did bring my A game when it came to my OOTDs this week, pulling out all the crowd favorites. I had the opportunity to use my Chinese today with a delegation at work and was highly praised for the accuracy of my tones. A few people have mistaken me for being in my late 20s. In my spinning class on Monday, I got up to 120 rpm when the instructor told us to sprint—a first for me.
But, really, this post is about being almost four for four in being asked out. We’ll see what tomorrow brings.
A couple months ago, my metrobus driver attempted to give me his phone number while I got off his bus. He’d written it on a route map. It was intercepted by another woman boarding as I rushed away and he honked as he drove off. Number averted! About a month ago, I boarded a bus and this driver said, “I’ve been thinking about you a long time,” to which I replied, “Uh…I just got on the bus” and walked as far back as possible. Monday night, as fate would have it, I boarded his bus again and this time he was prepared: arm stretched out offering me a route map with his number scribbled on it. “You just made my day!” he said. Perhaps he’d been a Boy Scout. How else would you explain that level of preparation?
Tuesday was funny. I was heading out for a walk during my lunch break and I came upon one of those ‘ice cold water’ guys. He said, “How you doin, beautiful?” I had my headphones in but had yet to turn my music on, a fact unknown to my admirer, and so I ignored him. He continued, seizing what he assumed was his opportunity to say whatever he wanted, “You can’t even hear me. I like your dress.” At this point, I had just walked past him and he kept watching from behind and yelled, “Daaaaaamn, God really blessed you in that polka dot dress!” As soon as I had rounded the corner I bust out laughing. On my way back to the office I passed by him and said, “Thanks for the compliment earlier!” He was shocked to discover I’d heard him after all.
Later that evening after getting dinner with my friend Jean, I met up with my friend Hayley to go for a walk around Columbia Heights/Meridian Hill. We were waiting to cross at this wonky intersection and struck up conversation with two other guys stuck on this island about how poorly designed the intersection was. As we crossed we made pleasant small talk then my friend and I did our own thing. I started telling her a story about a woman I’d encountered on my walk to work that morning who appeared to be on one of those synthetic drugs or something who went back and forth between mumbling and barking loudly. Being the dramatic storyteller that I am, I yelled “bark”, scaring the guys in front of us on the sidewalk (as I had been similarly scared that morning). Hayley and I walked ahead and from behind began a familiar exchange: “You married? You got a boyfriend? Can I take you out some time?” Hayley asked why this always happens to me. Hell if I know. We term these men street people, not because they live on the street, but because that’s where I meet them. That’s where I meet all my men.
Today’s encounter goes down in the books as most awkward and record-breaking. White men NEVER approach me. Ever. Until today. In front of my interns. I was about to cross the street when I read this guy’s shirt that said “Some people ride the crazy bus. I drive it!” I complimented him on his shirt (naturally, I found it amusing, as I consider Weirdo Forest my natural habitat (you MUST watch the video clip below)).
He followed that up with a compliment about my hair, then asked if I did it myself, then if I took off work to have it done, then if I had plans later and finally asked who I was standing with. I had just taken my interns out to lunch to celebrate one of their’s last day and we were heading back to work. I said it was awkward, and he asked them if they felt awkward. I told them to head back and I’d catch up. Alone, he complimented my dress and asked for my number (which I gave him, but don’t worry, I learned my lesson from the chicken dance guy—the false start to something good). I couldn’t believe it though, a white guy.
The Super Star Life
Weeks like these always make me feel like I wandered into the special dust that gives invincibility #cantstopwontstop. I can almost hear the fast-paced music and feel the whirl of the sparkles, the thrill of being untouchable. Tonight, I’m feeling the glow.
In honor of my week, I want to share some of the super star life magic with you through this YouTube compilation of all variations of the super star theme music so you can feel it too.